Wiggling Worms and Wagging Tails

It’s about darn time! I’ve been telling Fred for months that he needed to start a blog.

He finally got off his lazy, wiggling behind and gave me some good ideas. You can find them here:

http://wigglingwormsandwaggingtails.wordpress.com/

He’s only helped with one post so far, but Angel and I are working on hers. We hope to have it posted before we head to the beach tonight!

You don’t scare me, Hurricane Irene!

*Wag more, bark less*

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I’d Rather be Writing

 

 

Today I thought of a bumper sticker that had once made me chuckle.

“I’d rather be fishing.”

Maybe you’ve seen this one too:

“I’d rather be golfing.”

My personal favorite?

“I’d rather be writing.”

I love reading the words of others, even when they are silly. I love when I see a quote or a phrase and it makes an everlasting impression on my mind. I once kept a journal filled with quotes, lyrics, Scriptures; all words another person had written. I humbly jotted them down, hoping the inspiration would leap on me through my pen.

“The desire to write grows with writing.” ~Desiderius Erasmus

Maybe if I truly devoted myself more to writing, I wouldn’t constantly feel that ache to write. I get annoyed when my thoughts are interrupted, only then to feel guilty for my annoyance. The world can’t stop because I’ve had a brilliant thought.

That is the part I struggle with. When I want to write, darn it, I want to write. I used to have a lot more time to write and I’m slightly bitter that the situation has changed. Even now, I am frustrated by all the stories I want to bang out on my laptop, and just jotting down the idea isn’t always enough.

“I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.” ~Beryl Pfizer

I’ve had to challenge myself to make more time for writing, but some days the words fight to stay inside my head. (Why don’t they want to come out?! We always have a lovely time.) I asked some writer friends to encourage me and one suggested something I already knew but had neglected; read. Read a book, read a poem, read a funny story, read a bumper sticker; just read something. Even if it’s the ten year-old journal filled with the scribbles of a wanna-be-writer.

“Writing is one of the few professions in which you can psychoanalyze yourself, get rid of hostilities and frustrations in public, and get paid for it.” ~Octavia Butler

Even if I’m not being paid to write right now, my plan is to make that a reality one day. (Did anyone else get a kick out of “write right?” Just me? Grammatically, it’s horrible, but that’s okay.)

Unfortunately, GoodBlogs is no longer paying for anyone’s words. I sometimes stare at my job with the eyes of a restless artist, wishing “the real world” wasn’t so scary and demanding. Wishing I could abandon the ship so I could stay home and write. Wishing I had the courage to dive head first into the waves.

 “Writing is thinking on paper.” ~William Zinsser

That one truly spoke to me. Some may call me a daydreamer; some may say I don’t pay attention. They would probably all be right. Sometimes I am so entranced by the words inside my head it’s hard to pay attention to the world going on outside. But I can’t neglect the outside world too much.

“Writing, I think, is not apart from living. Writing is a kind of double living. The writer experiences everything twice. Once in reality and once in the mirror which waits always before or behind.” ~Catherine Drinker Bowen

I get frustrated when I can’t write the words down on paper or type them into a document, but I’m always writing inside my head. Even when I can’t get the words out, just juggling them around helps ease that constant yearning.

“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those, who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the panic fear, which is inherent in a human condition.” ~Graham Greene

Therapy! Goodness knows I need that. And just when I’m about to fully envelop myself in the blackness of self-doubt, I’ll throw in just one more quote.

“Every writer I know has trouble writing.” ~Joseph Heller

All is well in the world again. I am never alone, even on the days when I feel it the most. Every other writer has struggled and every other writer has drawn inspiration from the words of their peers.

So, I write. I press forward and write even when my fingers don’t want to. I drown out the noises and try to only listen to the click-clacking of the keys. I think of all the writing projects in my head and I know they will get done … well, the ones that are meant to be.

I will always love to write about writing. It is the ultimate inspiration and my proven cure of the dreaded WB (writer’s block). I am working on a new blog (details coming soon!) and I’m very excited about it. Instead of letting myself feel overwhelmed I will embrace every writing opportunity I have.

And when my fingers are tired, I’ll remember the advice I got from Shawna. When the words won’t come (or when the words that do are total crap) I will take more time to read.

Sometimes the best inspiration for a writer is another writer.

Cry

 

I haven’t written in a while. It’s not for lack of trying, I am just not happy with the fruits of my labor. Or perhaps LIFE is distracting me so much and turning my brain to pudding. (I hope it’s at least chocolate pudding.)

I’ve mostly been distracted by the disruption in my family. It seems someone is always mad at me, so maybe it is best I stay away. Whenever I try to “fix” it, it just ends up more broken. There are some that seem to think my opinions are best kept to myself, and I don’t want to live my life that way anymore.

I’m overwhelmed by our choice to have a foster dog, Angel. I love her so much and every time there is interest in her from another family, I retreat inside myself. She’s mine. But maybe she isn’t meant to be mine.

Yesterday, I had some sad news from one of my best friends. Her news made me struggle all day, back and forth between that blissful sense of being unaware and the jolting shock of reality.

My answer to stress has always been the same; cry. I read something once that said it’s good to cry. Your body is having a physical reaction because it needs a release. But I spent a lot of years with someone who cried all the time, and sometimes I harshly resist this natural reaction.

Sometimes your body wins. While trying to write something intelligent, I found something I wrote a few months ago about crying. I remember crying as I wrote it, and wish I remember the way I felt when the crying had ceased.

Have you ever really looked at yourself while tears ran down your face, your shoulders heaved and emotion poured forward? There are the cries where you can barely keep from squeaking, heaving sobs rack your body and physically, you have never felt more vulnerable.

There are the cries that are silent, where you can hide the deep wrenching thoughts and only slightly give in to the reaction your body wants you to have. For me, those cries only bring tears to the surface of the eye, where they either spill sporadically or not at all, making one feel that there just may be some level of control.

But then there are cries that transcend every other. The tears fall from your eyes with no effort, spilling down your cheeks as if they have somewhere they need to be. Your body is still, your face barely moving. These are the cries that dig to the deepest part of your being, kidnapping those feelings so you have no choice but to express them.

Sometimes you cry in one way and sometimes in another. When the tears are dry and you can breathe once again, you look outside the window at the trees and the sky.

You whisper thanks that you don’t have to fix everything right now; that maybe you can really take one day at a time. It didn’t fall apart in a day, so it won’t be put together in one either.

 

Giving in to crying is vital in order to maintain some type of sanity … but, just a little. Don’t succumb to it and let it control and dictate every move, every mood, every you.

There is always sunshine somewhere. The trick is to never stop searching. And sometimes the brightest smile is the one that shines through tears.